More indepth piece later, but, for now, listen to Cyrus's latest release 7 Things
Monday, July 28
Saturday, July 26
anxiety is the new black
it's been a while, so there's a lot to report. too much, in fact, so i will not be able to go into very much detail. but here's a quick lowdown of recent events:
1. met khloe kardashian. it was as magical as i'd hoped it would be. i cried in my matzo ball soup.
2. i may be quitting my internship with the mag. more later.
3. fruit fly returns tonight. epic.
4. my parents have left for europe. i am so anxious i could die right now.
maybe there wasn't a lot to report.
the khloe story will be coming soon.
1. met khloe kardashian. it was as magical as i'd hoped it would be. i cried in my matzo ball soup.
2. i may be quitting my internship with the mag. more later.
3. fruit fly returns tonight. epic.
4. my parents have left for europe. i am so anxious i could die right now.
maybe there wasn't a lot to report.
the khloe story will be coming soon.
Tuesday, July 15
Coffee Stories
I am well aware that my addiction to cigarettes can be offensive to those who choose not to smother their lungs in tabacco-y goodness. And despite my extremely confrontational personality, I'm even so aware of how much it may bother somebody that I am [usually] more than accomodating to those who bitch and moan about the smoke. But not anymore. I'm sorry all, you can blame my newfound aggression on one snarky, ugly, stick-figure cunt and her crippled friend.
Yesterday, while enjoying an afternoon of Spicy Tuna rolls and shopping, my friend Nicole and I decided to sit down for a much needed coffee break. After grabbing my coffee, I quickly grabbed the only available table left outside of the establishment. As I motioned for my lighter, I could feel someone's eyes piercing. As I pulled out a fresh cigarette, I could feel the glare intensify. And finally, as I lit the beautifully crafted cancer stick, it happened:
"Um, hello? Hi. You know, I'd really appreciate it if you could put that out. My friend here just had surgery and I don't even know what that smoke will do to him. THANKS."
Two things immediately ran through my head: Would smoke affect somebody post-surgery? I couldn't figure out how. And also, didn't the Farrah Fawcet feathered hair look go out in the 90s? I was immediately defensive by her cadence and offensive choice of dress.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I would, but my friend is inside and is coming out shortly, and we'd hate to try and find another table. I apologize."
"You vile creature."
Cunty then preceeded to talk about me (using words and phrases that would make Joy Behar blush) and attacking me to her sugar daddy elderly companion. Without hesistation, the following is exchanged:
"Look, Miss, I'm aware you haven't eaten in weeks, but that's no reason to get huffy."
"I hope you die."
"Thanks! I'll keep your opinion in mind the next time I go to the doctor."
Nicole: "Is she serious right now? She's insane."
She proceeds to move to another table, but not before cursing us just one more time. She also called me a character in a bad movie. I was extremely flattered.
I applied for a summer job at Starbucks one hour later.
Yesterday, while enjoying an afternoon of Spicy Tuna rolls and shopping, my friend Nicole and I decided to sit down for a much needed coffee break. After grabbing my coffee, I quickly grabbed the only available table left outside of the establishment. As I motioned for my lighter, I could feel someone's eyes piercing. As I pulled out a fresh cigarette, I could feel the glare intensify. And finally, as I lit the beautifully crafted cancer stick, it happened:
"Um, hello? Hi. You know, I'd really appreciate it if you could put that out. My friend here just had surgery and I don't even know what that smoke will do to him. THANKS."
Two things immediately ran through my head: Would smoke affect somebody post-surgery? I couldn't figure out how. And also, didn't the Farrah Fawcet feathered hair look go out in the 90s? I was immediately defensive by her cadence and offensive choice of dress.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I would, but my friend is inside and is coming out shortly, and we'd hate to try and find another table. I apologize."
"You vile creature."
Cunty then preceeded to talk about me (using words and phrases that would make Joy Behar blush) and attacking me to her
"Look, Miss, I'm aware you haven't eaten in weeks, but that's no reason to get huffy."
"I hope you die."
"Thanks! I'll keep your opinion in mind the next time I go to the doctor."
Nicole: "Is she serious right now? She's insane."
She proceeds to move to another table, but not before cursing us just one more time. She also called me a character in a bad movie. I was extremely flattered.
I applied for a summer job at Starbucks one hour later.
Monday, July 7
The Grass is Always Greener
This summer has been one of intense reflection. Though my return to LA has been fun and, for all intents and purposes, fairly exciting, I am not happy.
I thought that coming back and exploring LA's social aspects would leave me gleeful and hungry for more, but the sad truth is...LA is sort of like Manhattan's daughter trying to walk in its mothers heels. Though glamorous and sexy in her own right, LA can never really mimick the distinct swagger and appeal of its east coast counterpart, and i'm slowly but surely starting to realize this fact. I am hoping that once I begin my semester of school, I will feel more at home; for now, though, like I told my mother, I feel like a stranger in my hometown. I feel like Carrie Underwood might feel in Borneo.
Last night, I spent time with my first gay(s) of the summer. I trucked it over to my good friend Ryan's apartment in Hollywood and spent the evening drinking wine and discussing Dina Lohan with him and his gay from J Crew. Both of their fag-hags were in attendance. (note: I have developed great distaste for this term, but it really does apply - fruit flies are rare and beautiful creatures - they are not common). Though fabulous and incredibly funny girls in their own right, the two ladies clearly followed the lives of their gays; they surely did not lead, but followed.
But anyway, I am very seriously considering a move back to NYC in the spring. Though the chaos of the city is what drove me away initially, I am slowly starting to realize that it is also what brought me immense joy. We shall see what happens.
In other news, Kathy Griffin has disappointed me. Her show, while still sort of funny, is not as enjoyable for me as it once was. Ryan and I came to the conclusion that this is because she is no longer d-list, and appears to only be taking gigs for the show, and the episodes no longer contain elements of her [once] real life status. Now, Griffin can be seen in Chanel garments, traveling via private jet, and demanding upwards of $650,000 per stand up routine. I miss the old Kathy - the one who wore hot pink prom dresses and walked in puppy fashion shows. Come back, KG!
I thought that coming back and exploring LA's social aspects would leave me gleeful and hungry for more, but the sad truth is...LA is sort of like Manhattan's daughter trying to walk in its mothers heels. Though glamorous and sexy in her own right, LA can never really mimick the distinct swagger and appeal of its east coast counterpart, and i'm slowly but surely starting to realize this fact. I am hoping that once I begin my semester of school, I will feel more at home; for now, though, like I told my mother, I feel like a stranger in my hometown. I feel like Carrie Underwood might feel in Borneo.
Last night, I spent time with my first gay(s) of the summer. I trucked it over to my good friend Ryan's apartment in Hollywood and spent the evening drinking wine and discussing Dina Lohan with him and his gay from J Crew. Both of their fag-hags were in attendance. (note: I have developed great distaste for this term, but it really does apply - fruit flies are rare and beautiful creatures - they are not common). Though fabulous and incredibly funny girls in their own right, the two ladies clearly followed the lives of their gays; they surely did not lead, but followed.
But anyway, I am very seriously considering a move back to NYC in the spring. Though the chaos of the city is what drove me away initially, I am slowly starting to realize that it is also what brought me immense joy. We shall see what happens.
In other news, Kathy Griffin has disappointed me. Her show, while still sort of funny, is not as enjoyable for me as it once was. Ryan and I came to the conclusion that this is because she is no longer d-list, and appears to only be taking gigs for the show, and the episodes no longer contain elements of her [once] real life status. Now, Griffin can be seen in Chanel garments, traveling via private jet, and demanding upwards of $650,000 per stand up routine. I miss the old Kathy - the one who wore hot pink prom dresses and walked in puppy fashion shows. Come back, KG!
Saturday, July 5
Barack is the new Paris (Hilton)
Did anybody catch Barack Obama's latest cover on Ebony magazine? He looks so glamorous.
Jake Gyllenhaal once made a comment saying, "It's a sad day when actors become politicians and politicians become actors." Food for thought.
Hopefully he'll be able to lead the country AND do magazine covers. I'd hate for his being the leader of the free world to conflict with his budding social calender. That would be so unfortunate.
Jake Gyllenhaal once made a comment saying, "It's a sad day when actors become politicians and politicians become actors." Food for thought.
Hopefully he'll be able to lead the country AND do magazine covers. I'd hate for his being the leader of the free world to conflict with his budding social calender. That would be so unfortunate.
Tuesday, July 1
Music Minute: Heidi Montag
I've spent the last year in the closet again. Not due to my overwhelmingly obvious sexual orientation, but in regards to my most recent musical addiction: Heidi Montag.
I've hid my passion for her tranny club beats with unnamed playlists on itunes; I've hummed the melody to "Body Language" in the comfort of my own room when nobody's home; I've even claimed to dislike her raunchy tunes in public just to save face. But I can't hide it any longer. I LOVE this bitch!
There's no question that Montag is a controversial artist. She quickly rose to fame on MTV's The Hills, a program that follows the trials and tribulations of a group of young, [relatively] attractive single girls in LA (all except for Montag, who's been in a relationship with pug-faced Spencer Pratt for the majority of the show's run). Montag became the stand-out of the show for a few reasons:
1. Speaking
2. Not staring
3. Having a personality
Now, as the show enters its fourth season, Montag has branched out into other things. By marrying her fun, sexy personality with her incredible vocal prowess, Montag has stomped her way onto the music scene.
She had her first musical slip-up with Higher, her first widely released single. Vocally straining, Rhytmically challenged - the song was doomed for failure from the beginning. But recently, Montag has released a slue of club anthems that are certain to launch her into the musical stratosphere.
Body Language, Montag's first creation, was slow to gain an audience. Marinated with an 80s flavor and strong bass syncopations, Body Language is undeniably catchy. The song possesses a meaty hook, strong layered vocals, and a pretty vile rap from boyfriend and unknown specimen, Spencer Pratt. Despite Pratt's vomit-worthy segment ("From Paris to Beverly Hills, we that ill"), the song is a gem. A gift.
Montag's second musical treasure, and most recent release, One More Drink, is probably her best yet (we've deliberately neglected mentioning Fashion - a song we'd like to forget about for our own sanity). Strong, sassy, upbeat, and incredibly GAY, Montag's latest attempt at tackling the club jam is more than successful. Listen for yourselves:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4tNbWtgiwF4
In other words, Montag is poised for stardom. Though her start has been rocky, her determination and positive attitude are unparalleled. She is my muse.
Kudos, Montag!
<photos courtesy of google images>
I've hid my passion for her tranny club beats with unnamed playlists on itunes; I've hummed the melody to "Body Language" in the comfort of my own room when nobody's home; I've even claimed to dislike her raunchy tunes in public just to save face. But I can't hide it any longer. I LOVE this bitch!
There's no question that Montag is a controversial artist. She quickly rose to fame on MTV's The Hills, a program that follows the trials and tribulations of a group of young, [relatively] attractive single girls in LA (all except for Montag, who's been in a relationship with pug-faced Spencer Pratt for the majority of the show's run). Montag became the stand-out of the show for a few reasons:
1. Speaking
2. Not staring
3. Having a personality
Now, as the show enters its fourth season, Montag has branched out into other things. By marrying her fun, sexy personality with her incredible vocal prowess, Montag has stomped her way onto the music scene.
She had her first musical slip-up with Higher, her first widely released single. Vocally straining, Rhytmically challenged - the song was doomed for failure from the beginning. But recently, Montag has released a slue of club anthems that are certain to launch her into the musical stratosphere.
Body Language, Montag's first creation, was slow to gain an audience. Marinated with an 80s flavor and strong bass syncopations, Body Language is undeniably catchy. The song possesses a meaty hook, strong layered vocals, and a pretty vile rap from boyfriend and unknown specimen, Spencer Pratt. Despite Pratt's vomit-worthy segment ("From Paris to Beverly Hills, we that ill"), the song is a gem. A gift.
Montag's second musical treasure, and most recent release, One More Drink, is probably her best yet (we've deliberately neglected mentioning Fashion - a song we'd like to forget about for our own sanity). Strong, sassy, upbeat, and incredibly GAY, Montag's latest attempt at tackling the club jam is more than successful. Listen for yourselves:http://youtube.com/watch?v=4tNbWtgiwF4
In other words, Montag is poised for stardom. Though her start has been rocky, her determination and positive attitude are unparalleled. She is my muse.
Kudos, Montag!
<photos courtesy of google images>
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