Self-help

As I sat down with a friend for coffee yesterday, not to do hang-out, really, but to instead discuss her 17th round of relationship woes, I realized something fundamental to my unhappiness: I am too preoccupied with my friends' romantic trysts and relationships. I used to think it was because I was too afraid to invest in one of my own, but now I've gotten past that fear and am O-V-E-R dealing with other people's relationship issues. It seems that my entire life has become a one-way street. I'm tired of being the emotional punching bag and, conversely, the propelling agent of good faith. I'll say it as bluntly as I can, so as not to confuse anyone: I don't care about why "X" hasn't called you in 2 hours and I don't really care how that makes you feel. At this point, what's talking to me about it for the 80th time going to do? Relationships are difficult, no question; but if you're spending all of your time contemplating the one that you're in instead of enjoying it then, well, that says something. Right?

I think I'm just tired of being ignored emotionally. In recent evaulations, I've come to see that I tend to act as the healer in most of my friendships - that's not to say in ALL of them, thank god for the handful of you who actually think outside of yourselves - but in most of them, I do all of the listening. All of the helping. It's done and I'm tired of that routine.

So I won't. No longer will I burdened with the emotional baggage of my friends whose lives aren't really all that terrible. I just spoke with Courtney and a friend of hers died - to me, that seems way more severe than a friend calling me in hysterics over a boyfriend issue. People just can't learn to not sweat the small stuff. It's frustrating.

Tonight, I have to attend a screening for "House of Bunny" for the magazine. Rumor Willis, Katharine McPhee, Beverly D'Angelo (of Chevy Chase Vacation films), Ana Farris (of the Scary Movie franchise and Smileyface) are set to star. Ha, I'll enjoy writing this review.